Take the Lead

IF YOU WANT TO BE REALLY EFFECTIVE in influencing or persuading others, it's critical that you tune into their needs, issues, and goals. But sometimes it's not enough to ask them "What's your pain?" or "Tell me about your situation." Sometimes, that gets you too deep in the weeds toooo quickly. Sure, you're covering (or at least hearing about) what's affecting them, but you (and they) may be missing the bigger context.
        This is a really easy trap to fall into. We've become so accustomed, as buyers of products and services, to slogging through mountains of details and features and such, that we start narrowing our focus to those details and features. Which then perpetuates this limiting cycle.
        But every now and then, someone stops us and says, "What do you really want to accomplish?" or "How are you planning to use this?" or "Why does this matter?"

        Wow.
        What a concept.

        And then the conversation continues on a higher plane, one that reveals deeper motivations than just "I want this feature." or "I'd like a window over there."
        It also transforms the connection or relationship between the parties. When you pose questions like that — or, rather, when you elevate the discussion in this way, you show that you care about their goals, not just about pushing features or functions. And that type of connection is incredibly powerful.
        Talking about their higher objectives works in all kinds of situations, not only sales presentations and cold calls, but also internal presentations and really any situation where you're trying to persuade or influence someone.
        And all it takes is for you to ask that big question. Don't just sit and listen to what they say they want, and then give them a direct answer. Take the lead and ask them "Why?" It can change your conversation dramatically.

Comments

[Sandra Zimmer]

Hi John

Great tip for questioning prospects! I am a presentation coach and I like to ask, "What do you wnat to learn to do or be?" Often prospective clients ask me to tell them what I do. I don't bite on that hook! Instead, I make them think deeply about the outcomes they want by asking my do or be question. Sometimes they aren't prepared to respond because they don't know what they really want. But it really does stop them cold and make them realize they are talking with soemone who cares to take time to explore what they really need. My blog is Speaking Freely at http://www.self-expression.com/speaking-freely/. Thanks for your wisdom. YOU have a different perspective than most presentation people.

[John Windsor]

Great feedback, Sandra! I loved your line about not biting on their question, as well as them not knowing (or at least thinking about) what they really want.

Meanwhile, I really like your blog, particularly your recent post about connecting on a gut level. Great guidance. And thanks for your kind words about The YouBlog. I really appreciate your comments.

Best regards,
John